Smarter Than A Lettuce

by Three Ninjas

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1.
03:32
2.
3.
02:12
4.
5.
6.
7.
01:07
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11.
12.

credits

released April 1, 2010

Cover by Geoff Gibbs. Appearances by NHP, Lightbear, and Courtney Love.

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Three Ninjas New Orleans, Louisiana

Three Ninjas is a musician from New Orleans, LA.

Liberal feminist country singer.

Fucked up songs with swears and stuff. Getting dumped a lot. Alcohol. That kind of thing.

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Track Name: Box Spring
you asked if we had change and we had nothing
what would you do with change you have no hands
you took my mattress i slept on the box spring
why do you need a mattress you've got sand

everyone wants to meet your friends but
no one cares a bit about you
no one'll ever even notice you

every time i hear your name i cry until i sleep
i can't take much more of this facade
sleeping underwater is a secret i can keep
a passing shadow is it you or God?

i'll dance if i have to but i don't wanna go
if i ever change my mind you'll be the first to know
there's no sense in taking it slow
you swim a sound filled with sorrow
passing fleeting glimpses are all i can expect
and i know inside my heart that though you run you don't reject
everybody else is trying to see what they can see
but all i really want to know is if you care to see me
Track Name: The Whole Goddamn Universe
everything that's wonderful about
this whole goddamn universe as i experience it
every word comes out your mouth
they are the same to me
they are the same to me

every mystery i've ever wanted to solve
every storm and corvid form that ever did evolve
every rock deposited and since unconformed
everything i know about and everything i don't

every desert i have yet to see
every planet that exists and that is yet to be
every ruminant and every star
i will know them better now because i know you are

when you say yes to me
i try to fly through time and it works
when you say no
there never was a universe
Track Name: Powers
If I had powers I would make all of your wishes come true
but to be quite honest I'd be glad to do your dishes for you
Driving slightly west would solve both of your problems only
you don't drive so I guess for now we'll both be lonely
If I had powers we could make all of our wishes come true
but to be quite honest there ain't much I want that don't end in you
I cross the desert and I try to see its former glory
and face the fact that I am glad you spoiled nature for me

Last night I dreamed that I helped you move
I washed your car and I taught your class
I fixed the stain you could not remove
and then we drove over Stevens Pass

Look in the eyes of the mountain lion, I know
this will never get old as we grow
We'll have our powers and we'll have to be strong but you know
this will never get old as we grow
I cross the desert and remember when it was the sea
like it was when you were with me
I cross the desert and I try to see its former glory
and face the fact that I am glad you ruined nature for me
Track Name: Normal & Pathological
let me give it to you bro and get it off my chest
i will MURDER you if you sit on my desk
i'll take pictures with my phone and send them to your boss
and i'll tell all the girls you're the fat guy from Lost
i do not like you
at all
you think you compensate for your weight with talent
but i compensate by being a prick
and it's worked our really great
i make more money than you
i get more girls
i drive a better car
and i never feel the need to sit on someone's desk
i do not like you
at all

when you die nothing happens and this makes me want to commit
to making something great happen right now while i'm young
i just need to convince the right people i'm the one
but the movers and shakers are busy moving and shaking lesser men
less interested men
i'd go so far as to say i can save the world with music
but only if the world allows me to save it
monica said i could save her with music but only if i agreed to save john too
and i guess that's implied but still
it's not up to her it's up to him
i make myself sick with guilt cause i'm a fucking idiot
because i do things i think are right but if i thought it through a little bit more
i'd realize i'm a fucking idiot
i should take these clothes back to the store
because it's getting harder and harder to starve myself
and i'm not going to lose the weight to fit into these
i have nightmares about Hoarders and i'm sicking of hearing about how brave i am
ok i get it you think i'm strong
but i i didn't really do anything i lived with my sister and her house was clean
and while i'm at it stop telling me that women should love me because
i've always found this intrinsically absurd

we don't sleep
we are at peace
we don't sleep
we are at peace

let me give it to you bro and get it off my chest
you think you're so smart but i'm not impressed
you have the free phone you can't listen to pandora
and that fishbowl you're in and your mom is a hoarder
i do not like you
at all
you think you compensate for your weight with music
but people take one look at you and ignore all your music
they can tell you lack confidence and your arrogance is a facade
and it doesn't help things that you don't believe in God
i do not like you
at all
Track Name: Five Finger Discount
I know the music's good and my face is serene
but you don't even know what Corvids are
so where do you getting off talking to me?
I have really high standards and I don't think that you meet them
and you probably like sports
so where do you get off talking to me?
I don't have a lot of cash, I have the average amount
but I make up for it in smarts and hang out with Five Finger Discount
It takes a good man to write a song about how arrogant he is
I'm a really good man and I hang out with Five Finger Discount

I know the music's good and my face is serene
but you're not a WPZ member so where do you get off talking to me?
I'm really hard to impress and you're not doing great so far
and you probably live in Belltown so where do you get off talking to me?
I know I'm not good looking and my shape, in general, is round
but I make up for it in beats and hang out with Five Finger Discount
I know you wanna sex me but I think you're pretty dull
It's your loss, I'm good at oral and hang out with Five Finger Discount

I know all good things must end
I don't wanna be everyone's friend
I really don't have time to talk to people with stock personalities
One day soon I'll probably die
and your emails will go unreplied
and I really don't have time to talk to people with stock personalities