Tits At Your Christmas Party

by Three Ninjas

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(free) 04:17
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(free) 04:04
there was a time I could not believe some fates are worse than death that was before I saw you leave now I wish we'd never met if you own a gun please consider me and show mercy to my soul if you've lost someone I'm sure you know nothing's worse than growing old I wake up and cry till I sleep again this heart just can't be fixed if I could I'd sleep and not wake again I'll try until it sticks if you own a gun please consider me and show mercy to my soul if you've lost someone I'm sure you know nothing's worse than growing old I knew that you could not be true put I persist in unbelief the love we made just makes me blue to die would be sweet relief if you own a gun please consider me and show mercy to my soul if you've lost someone I'm sure you know nothing's worse than growing old
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I guess there will be moments where it's hard, like when I'm used to having someone to talk to but if I need someone to talk to in a situation as easy as this one then how did I get anywhere at all in the first place? and I'm sure it's hard for you to understand how I up and left how I walked away so fast and I know it probably hurts you, it's probably the worst you've ever had to know and I am so sorry but I really had to go but even when I have my doubts I know I cannot go back, because there is no way to change what has happened in the past and this never could have lasted we cannot go back in time this can't be forgotten and so I started walking (as fast as I could) please understand I had no choice there was nothing I could do there was no hope to ignore something so upsetting to the normal status quo it's not that I hate you, I want you to know I want you to know... you must go on, you have no choice go on because you have to it's what we're forced to do even me and you I want you to know I loved you I want you to know I want you to know I want you to know I want you to know I loved you I want you to know I want you to know I want you to know I loved you I want you to know I want you to know I want you to know
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My skeptical muscle is strong like Bertrand Russell I like to avoid fights but still find the occasional tussle I try to act famous but I'm just a small corpuscle and if creationism comes up expect me to dominate the discussle These faith-based fucks like to pretend to sound logical but it's founded on fallacies frequently fully mogical you can misinterpret data about polystrate logs but everyone points and laughs reading Ken Ham's blog My skeptical brain drives juggalos insane Yeah, there's miracles everywhere but you're mystified by mundane I knew a dude name Shane, I sampled the theme from Mondo Cane and if you ask what i was doing I'll be like "What, Lorraine?" These Christians complain with the same refrain of disdain I'll spend the rest of my life removing that goddamn stain Half insane from the pain, yet I could not abstain till I lost all my stock in Immanuel's veins cause we're not antiscience and antiwoman My skeptical glutes are firmer than Michael Shermer You wouldn't vaccinate your kids so instead you drank de-wormer sometimes I'm a dick despite accommodationist murmurs cause being friendly won't give your ideas legs like Tina Turner If you try to insert the logic you get blocked by bony scutes You get called 'murderer' by folks want the government in their utes Felt guilty about jerking off ever since I was a youth Now that I'm almost 30 it's time for a goddamn reboot My skeptical abs are tight like Jen McCreight and when you call the ladies bitches we'll scream "fight fight fight" I'm compared to Penn Jilette though the resemblance is only slight and unless a quake brings it down let's be done with delusion tonight
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(free) 03:01
your ears aren't pierced but I am you bought me a subscription to SciAm I know you can't have pets and all but if you could this fall I'd buy your cat a web cam that was no vagina reference i try to show respect and reverence but lately when I mention cats i will get worried that it's taken out of context no one's ever going home from here you must control your fear and hide your tears nobody hates me but a girl in wallingford tolerates me I'll play my show without you with all my songs about you it only took a little while you said i make you smile and there's no call to doubt you i read the books you gave me on all the things you did to save me when you're too upset to sing you won't remember things but have i mentioned lately maybe she looks at everyone that way but only she looks at me
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(free) 03:12
i will retreat into my rockstar persona cause when i get scared of life it's all i'm made of i guess i've always been the fat fuck and loner so i'm about to give up and try my luck at gay love but i'm way funnier than your boyfriend and i'm way better in bed and i don't wear dumbass earrings and i'd rather give than receive head reflect on the fact that most cities have no soul and my ex thinks i'm pathetic but doesn't think i'm an asshole lately i don't see the point and i kinda wish i was dead but i don't have it in me, that's what she said. doom and gloom yeah that's kinda my bread and butter cause i burned up all the strength you say i mustered teasing all the hair you sa y i must have grown forward every pet's a nuclear threat to every country i've bordered please and all you wish you know i must have grown somewhat i'm the unappreciated sensitive type like an underpaid cumslut tick tock and sometimes you do stop cause it gets so hard and it hurts not to give up and light a cigarette and sleep in your car till you die from carbon monoxide or it blows up but you know it's not in you to commit suicide but what is is a couple songs that keep you alive but even music isn't always enough to keep you strong when every night you get sick wishing you didn't have to sleep alone it isn't even about sex, you just need a hand to hold attached to someone whose existence gives the lie to what your parents told you when you have no will to live you might as well die a hero but if you die people will appreciate you but you won't know and anyway most of your problems stem from misunderstood good deeds so you might as well stay home lay in bed and watch Weeds your best days are over anyway all the memorable things are done your grandkids will remember you for your internet exploits and your ex-wife will forget the few times you bought her sex toys your coworkers will remember you for when you blew up about nothing and your best friend will remember that you still owe him fifteen bucks if you wanna sleep with me you don't have to try just show up she needs a man who looks just like you and does everything you do but just isn't you
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(free) 02:36
when I say I'm fine you know I'm lying cause in my mind I feel like dying no help at all from things I've tried the one thing left is suicide where can I go and not see your face I miss you, so your memory stays my friends say I should run and hide cause loving you is suicide when I see your name my heart is sunk what good is shame when I'm this drunk I'm dressed but I just stay inside cause loving you is suicide
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furthest step colored pill a hole to fall through place to go to it could have gone so well reason sings bits of will bruise colored not forgotten we kiss the hidden
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(free) 04:38
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i get that it's not sexy when i mention star trek and explaining biostratigraphy won't make your panties wet it makes sense you're not turned on by necrophilia in ducks i just wish once in a while you'd call me "dawkins" when we fuck among the perks of sleeping with a nerd turned on by anadromy is a clinical understanding of the workings of your anatomy sure i know less than john dupras does about astronomy but i'll make you cum as i recite the details of cetacean phylogeny it may be schmoopy to bemoan the fact that i don't have powers but lady i got the brain power to make the sex last for hours 1, 2, 3, 4 copies of pop sci strewn over the floor gotta gotta preg up to bare down gotta gotta preg up to bare down i read greta christina i may not be lean but i know what it means to make grafenberg scream and you better believe my sheets just got cleaned perhaps i'm not good looking like the dudes from big bang theory but i'll treat your girl parts better than sheldon treats loop theory i'm a guy so smart douchebags can't stand to be near me i'll read stephen jay gould while your boyfriend reads beverly cleary why are you turning me down? i volunteer at the seattle aquarium and i'm just rich enough to buy you text books from the campus book store and carry them you know it's so cute when i overexplain radiometric dating and you can look me up on hotornot i'm not ashamed to say i got a .01 rating if you turn me down for a dinner date i'll sample video game music to get your attention but you could out me as a fake cause i don't play zelda and the consoles i've owned have died sad and alone and my game night attendance doesn't warrant a mention
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about

Now you can conveniently download all my free songs in one place! This is a compilation of all the free songs I've posted over the past year or so, and it will continue to be updated as I post more.

credits

released February 10, 2012

Cover: Margaret Elizabeth Slegel

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Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

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about

Three Ninjas New Orleans, Louisiana

Three Ninjas is a musician from New Orleans, LA.

Liberal feminist country singer.

Fucked up songs with swears and stuff. Getting dumped a lot. Alcohol. That kind of thing.

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